Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
