Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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