Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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