This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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