i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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