he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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