I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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