How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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