Jerry, you need to find god
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
