I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
