Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
