Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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