i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You pole danced in your parka.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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