Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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