i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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