My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
