I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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