she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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