handjob tips. give me some.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
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