he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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