My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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