i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
