I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
