New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
