Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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