I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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