Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
