do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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