why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
