Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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