Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize