I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
