If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
