i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
