i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize