Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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