I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
