So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
They are going to name an STD after you.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
