Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
