i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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