Your tits are I can't wait for
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
