I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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