WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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