His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
