meet me or not, i'm out of control
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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