Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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