There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize