Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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