WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
