If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
