So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
