i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
