I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
is this the sara with the beer cane?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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