dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
