CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
