I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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