Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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